Free Speech

Free Speech

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Power does not cause women depression.

Power does not cause women depression. But I can give you some hints to what does.

For context read: The Hidden Downside to Being a Powerful WomanA new study shows that, for women, power is too often linked to symptoms of depression. by Kimberley Weisul

Scores of women will sing you the same chorus: being in a position of power (while challenging, granted) is often the least stressful thing in our lives.

Having the constant expectation to not only earn more (and more, and more cause we need more bloody stuff!), AND

while doing it continue to give all of ourselves to your family (ALL, EVERYTHING, LIKE 'TIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT: women can't exist outside the mother role once in it, don't you know), AND

give all of ourselves to household routines and chores (why, oh why can't those men folk figure out how to clean? Chuckle chuckle), AND

be the only holder of subtle and social graces (believe me, I know plenty of men who will give out lovely, artful Christmas cards this year, while I give out exactly none for the umpteenth year in a row), PLUS

give all of ourselves to everybody else first (because that's what nice girls do, and girls is nothing if not nice and polite and pretty).

Even the most liberal-seeming people hold firmly rooted beliefs about what men and women are and are not supposed to be. When you have to fight all of that every day of your life, woman or man, THAT is depressing.

Have something you want to say? Leave a comment below, and tweet me at @janieeden.

Friday, 10 October 2014

Monday, 22 September 2014

Emma Watson to UN: The World Needs More Gender Equality Ambassadors

Emma Watson recently delivered this speech to the UN on feminism, gender equality, and the solidarity movement HeForShe.

In it, she not only addresses some of the old and tired stereotypes of feminists and feminism but also the damage that continued gender inequality does to all people. But one of her most powerful messages, and it's truth sucked the air from my lungs, is that no country- NONE- can claim they have achieved gender equality:

I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts.
I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body.
I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that will affect my life.
I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.

But sadly, I can say that there is no one country in the world where all women can expect to receive these rights.
No country in the world can yet say that they have achieved gender equality.

Take up the call for gender equality and learn more at HeForShe
ALSO READ: Watch Emma Watson Deliver a Game-Changing Speech on Feminism for the U.N.

Do you feel like FEMINISM has become a dirty word? Comment Below.

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Why my Facebook profile pic will never be my child

I'm at a stage in my life when most of my friends have 'settled down', partnered up, and (some) have started having kids. I know because I hear about it on Facebook every day. Beside the cute pics, kid quotes, and hilarious recounting of mishaps I'll often notice the big wonder-filled eyes of a child.

Weird. I didn't know I was friends with any toddlers.

Many of my friends- at one point or another- have replaced their own profile image with an image of their baby/toddler/child.

I know my friends LOVE their children. I know that they're very, very proud to be parents. And I know that the pressure is on, now more than ever, to prove ourselves fit, loving parents.


Here's why my Facebook profile pic will never be an image of my child.

I love my children, but they are not me. I have my own identity. I don't draw that line strictly for my ego or even my sanity. I do it for them too. My role as a mother does not define all, or even most of who I am and it's important for my kids to learn that for the future them that they will be. I am, and they are valid individuals outside of their roles.

My children are not my world, and I don't want them to have the pressure of being my world either. I have my own life, and realize they probably will never know about most if it. And that's OK.

And it may sound ridiculous but I don't really want my friends and family to feel like they're talking to some weird me-child hybrid on Facebook. They can still talk to me. Even though I've had kids!

Do you think it's weird or totally cute to make children your facebook profile pic?

Friday, 9 May 2014

Kids DO say (and do) the darndest things. My mother has evidence.

Kids DO say the darndest things. And sometimes (usually when they're abnormally quiet for a suspiciously long time) they DO the darndest things too. Things like 'playing makeup', choosing the darkest possible form of makeup and plastering it all over their face. 

Mira's 'Coal Miner' look

(The tears came on being caught).

My mother kept lots of evidence that my brother and I said the darndest things. She was in the habit of writing down cute, or funny things that we said when we were younger in a sweet little cloth bound book that was a deep red with a pattern of tiny yellow flowers all over.

I would leaf through that little book every once in a while and almost be in tears over the things we said when were younger.

It's not a tradition I've carried on, but she's kept it alive with her grandchildren. A Facebook message from my mother after our 2 year old erased her outgoing voicemail message (again):

Eadie erased the message on my answering machine so I thought of recording a new one with her voice.
I practised her on saying 'please leave a message', but when we recorded it she said 'you don't have any kids living here'.
I dissolved into laughter and repractised her...
Again she said 'you don't have any kids living here' !!
I finally got her to say the message part but she whispered it in the same voice I was using to cue her
The next time she YELLED it.
At last, we got it, though it sounds like a rather severe command to leave a message and not a suggestion! 

xo (Mom)

This Mother's Day take time to celebrate all of the wonderful things that moms are and do (BIG and little) every day.

And from our family to yours Happy Mother's Day!

Tell me something about YOUR mom in the comments below!